Youll have hopefully read #AidanRehabDay1
Im in rehab battling addiction to Codeine and Benzodiazepines. Day 1 ended and I went to bed. Sleep was a concern. It needn’t be. 12PM-7’AM
7 hours sleep, good for me. Upon rising, shower, this time I found the lock on the door, so no surprise for any poor person, no one needs to see me in the shower when they are struggling!!!!
Straight up breakfast, I certainly don’t suffer with depression, full appetite, I had just finished when I was told I shouldn’t have eaten as blood tests were due. I am the first to apologise, but I hadn’t been told, so I just re-affirmed that and we agreed Tuesday 730AM!
WHAT DO I WANT TO ADDRESS HERE
That was the name of the form
“What do you want you address here”
Here’s what I came up with (thanks to a few injections of coffee)
(My memory has been affected by the meds .. This is best memory)
I want to address the following -M
1. Addiction x 3. Come entirely off Tramadol, Tylex and Diazepam
2.Explore relationship between addiction and my brain
3. Explore how my brain has changed from addiction
4. Explore relationship between Complex pain and complex OCD
I would like these addressed how / by
1. I would like to taper down the 3
2. I would like an understanding between pain and the brain.
3, Devise cognitive interventions for when very symptomatic
Following treatment and discharge, My Aims -????
1, Stay clean
2,Greater emotional regulation
3.Understand brain better, e.g-Pre Frontal Cortex
4, Effective behavioural strategies
After treatment, what will I do to prevent relapse with meds
1. Stay Clean
2.Step 2 – it’s a few months of a 1/2 day a week here. I sign up.
3.Step 3 – it’s a year of a 1/2 day in an associated clinic. I sign up.
Thats a hell of a commitment.. I’m in though.. I am fully committed and I think this structure and meaning.
After a break (cue more coffee )
My appointment went extremely well. I can’t speak highly enough of this individual. I can’t give enough praise for the 2 registrars present and we drew up detailed care plans
1 Addictions Meds
I explained I wanted to reduce Tramadol to nil. I explained I wanted reduce Tylex to nil. I explained I wanted Diazepam to nil. The Psych explained the realities of the difficulties that lay ahead for me. I thought this through.
2 Past Addictions
I am also goung to explore alcohol and gambling
Alcohol: I gave up Oct 4, 2010
Gambling : I gave up March 31, 2010
i want to be sure I never relapse
This is my diagnos per se. I mentioned it to a chap here over dinner. “Constantly cleaning stuff is it” he said.. “Aaaah, “No it’s not”, but I understand where you are coming from” -my inner voice said. I told him I do mathematical multiplication in my head silently ”
Here I said to the Psych (- Oscar Wilde.)
“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”
5 Occupational Issues
I can’t go into this here, but I am being f@&£@d by my Employer because of (1) and (7)
6-Mental Fitness /Pain.
I want to agree to fitness ideology. Exercise helps the brain. The Pain Specialist, I am divorcing from him, as the Tramadol and Tylex are his idea.
7-CSA- I’d prefer not to talk about this, but a Social Worker Is being assigned
SOCIAL MEDIA KINDNESS
I cannot begin to tell you much kindness I received, hundreds and hundreds of tweets, lots on FB, Instagram, LInkedn(!) I am getting back to hundreds of people, youre all oxygen when I can log on
Honesty raises eyebrows. I had Tramadol and Tylex In my room. I had these the at the bottom of my luggage coming in . I hadn’t taken any, but I had brought for an emergency or to hand in. I hadn’t felt any guilt, but I did handing them in
FIRST EVENING OF WITHDRAWALS
I could feel a little , I drank water, hot showers, watched MMA, watched Netflix(Gypsy recommended Psych triller!) I got through Monday!!
A full day in the bag..40 more to go